The Hardest Goodbye

  Suicide. The word can elicit a response in most people that is tragic, sad, dark, and dismal. To us who have lost someone we loved to suicide, the word alone literally hurts our souls to the core and has the capability of dragging us mentally back into the very moment we found out. From that moment, usually, life never regains the same momentum.

            My mother ended her own life at 42. I was only 24, and my sister was 20. That was a pivotal point in our lives from which we would never fully recover. Yes, life did move on, as it has to, but changes to our brains left permanent, lifelong damage. Suicide is the one manner of death that leaves the people left behind feeling multiple layers of complicated and difficult emotions for years to come. Questions also linger that will forever remain unanswered. It’s a terrible permanent solution to life’s many temporary problems.

  According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, it is the 11th leading cause of death, which is absolutely staggering. Many factors are thought to contribute to increasing rates, especially in teens and young adults. Cyberbullying is at an all-time high, and in my own personal opinion, the movement away from God and faith is a driving factor as well. This is multi-faceted and complex, of course. But to simplify, a relationship with God and His teachings and regular time spent with like-minded believers leads to many positive mental benefits, such as providing a sense of hope and purpose.

            I will never fully understand why my mother, or anyone else for that matter, chose to end her own life. What I can do, however, is show compassion to those experiencing the same thing and try and educate those around me on signs of potential self-harm and resources for prevention. Her pain was beyond what she thought was manageable, but the loss of her has left us forever damaged. If you or someone you know is making threats or calling out for help, please take them seriously and assure them that you’re there for them and never want them to leave. Some valuable resources follow:

Call or text 988 from a smartphone

1 Comment
  • Traci Little
    Posted at 02:32h, 14 August Reply

    Thank you for sharing your personal story that others may find hope and heal!!

    Love you,
    Traci Little

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