22 Mar Being seen
There is power in truly being seen. To be seen beyond the surface, beyond the physical layer into your soul. I think people who have an innate drive to form a group seek this even if they cannot articulate it. They want to be seen and accepted by individuals who matter to them.
Until that happens, you may move socially from group to group. If it’s your family, you may withdraw and feel undervalued.
I’m not saying that the desire to be seen is for validation from any and everyone. We shouldn’t. But when a trusted friend or loved one sees you for who you are, there is nothing better.
To go through life with no one genuinely understanding who you are would be incredibly lonely and unfulfilling. Having those closest to you not understand you or your motives could leave you feeling wounded.
As I’ve said before, I enjoy learning about the people around me. I revel in how we are so different but have a lot in common. We can connect on various levels and yet remain unique individuals—seeing the world through not only our own lens but through each other’s lens.
People like to apply labels to things and especially other people to make them similar or dissimilar to the world around them. In seeing someone as different, we determine what’s right for others while we live our lives just as we wish. We ignore the pain and despair that our judgment creates. There is no problem in seeing someone as dissimilar if you truly see who they are. We do not have to approve or disapprove of who they are. We should strive to see them for who they are, hoping that they see us for who we are.
Here’s my plan; you guys know I love a good plan. Limit investing your whole yourself to those few people who truly see you. They see and accept you just as you are. I’m not suggesting you keep solely to people who think like you. We’ve had enough of that.
I’m suggesting the opposite. It’s only through engaging with many people that you genuinely get to see yourself and others. After you see yourself through a trusted person’s eyes, you can get a visual of who you are.
All relationships are not worth investing in one hundred percent. Some people should remain on the periphery. Invest in those people who see you and your spirit as you are. Above all, you must see yourself as you really are and not readily accept someone’s distorted vision of who they think you are or should be. You aren’t relying on others to paint your self-portrait. Instead, you are drawing the lines, angles, and colors that make you self-fulfilled and emotionally mature, having more control over your mental health.
It can be tiring to find your group but persevere. I have to admit that I use this to weed out “friends.” A friend mostly understands your motives and who you are. When I defend myself from anyone, especially if I thought they were my friend, I shift them to the associate zone. This shift keeps me free from superficiality and doubt. I prefer to paint my world with vivid positivity.
When I cannot see someone with some positivity through their lens, it just drains me. So, I move on emotionally. I don’t want to force anyone to be the person I want to see. People are just too valuable to be forced into someone else’s vision.
Sometimes, people willfully refuse to see you. It happens, but that reflects them and not you. It’s more about them needing to dull your light, hoping to convince you to mute your life scape. Reevaluate the relationship – move on, especially if you don’t see mutual respect. Their self-worth does not depend on your acceptance of who they are.
Most importantly, your self-worth doesn’t depend on their acceptance of who you are. We should all be seen in our true light. You deserve to feel uniquely valued and cherished for who you are. You are valued and loved. We must remember that. You must let the world see YOU!!